Even with the long weekend my body knew it was "Monday" when I got up for work. Which meant a good peptalk and coffee were in order before I could even form an intelligent sentence. Can't forget Benadryl because spending my day sneezing and wiping my nose is a day wasted lol..hope you guys enjoyed it or plan to enjoy it- the night is young!
This weekend, like a ton of weekends, I made some poor choices. Not mistakes, because that's what you do when it's an accident/unintentional, but actual poor choices. So I saw four options and made choices based on what felt best at that time. Even though I knew in the long run they were bad choices, why oh why? Why would I knowingly stress myself out, be upset, be numb or just an all around mess??
Honestly, it's about who is answering the question when it's posed. Past Me is a sucker for whatever is the quickest, most painless and often the dumbest answer. Present Me wants to weigh every option, make a list of pros and cons and then when absolutely necessary make the safest decision. Future Me looks at the whole picture and attempts to make the best decision she can for all the Cocos. Too often, especially on the weekends, Past Me is left in charge of decisions. Sometimes simply because she had an answer first and it's the one that will feel the best.
Notice the difference between "feeling the best" and being "the best for me"...they are not very often the same and I spend a lot of time trying to reconcile that to no avail. I get caught up in wanting an easy answer to questions that are HARD. I see a question and talk myself into answering when sometimes I should be thinking.
I call this being "stupid smart" because I know that logically I should do A and B but realistically I'm gonna do D, E and F. I'm smart enough to know I'm making dumb/poor choices, but I still make them. It's a struggle and I'm just starting to get honest with myself about this and it's really not fun lol. It's nice to see myself as all the positives- I'm funny, caring, intelligent, complex, etc. Yet the longer I don't address those negatives the stronger they are and the fact is that they will never get better if I don't work on them.
So, I'm going to try to live in the space between the Three of Me. Where I acknowledge all my choices instead of trying to push myself into one direction. A space where I am accepting of my choices and go from there, I am human and will continue to make poor choices- there is no way around that. Lastly, I'd like to make more decisions based in reality, not what I think happened or what I think will happen.
I hope you'll do the same! My hope is that you are able to examine your choices and articulate why you make those decisions. I'm not saying drive yourself crazy, but your thoughts dictate your behavior and as long as YOU don't know why you can't begin to change it. Think on it...
Enjoy the rest of your night! Talk soon! #StupidSmart #DecisionsDecisionsDecisions
This weekend, like a ton of weekends, I made some poor choices. Not mistakes, because that's what you do when it's an accident/unintentional, but actual poor choices. So I saw four options and made choices based on what felt best at that time. Even though I knew in the long run they were bad choices, why oh why? Why would I knowingly stress myself out, be upset, be numb or just an all around mess??
Honestly, it's about who is answering the question when it's posed. Past Me is a sucker for whatever is the quickest, most painless and often the dumbest answer. Present Me wants to weigh every option, make a list of pros and cons and then when absolutely necessary make the safest decision. Future Me looks at the whole picture and attempts to make the best decision she can for all the Cocos. Too often, especially on the weekends, Past Me is left in charge of decisions. Sometimes simply because she had an answer first and it's the one that will feel the best.
Notice the difference between "feeling the best" and being "the best for me"...they are not very often the same and I spend a lot of time trying to reconcile that to no avail. I get caught up in wanting an easy answer to questions that are HARD. I see a question and talk myself into answering when sometimes I should be thinking.
I call this being "stupid smart" because I know that logically I should do A and B but realistically I'm gonna do D, E and F. I'm smart enough to know I'm making dumb/poor choices, but I still make them. It's a struggle and I'm just starting to get honest with myself about this and it's really not fun lol. It's nice to see myself as all the positives- I'm funny, caring, intelligent, complex, etc. Yet the longer I don't address those negatives the stronger they are and the fact is that they will never get better if I don't work on them.
So, I'm going to try to live in the space between the Three of Me. Where I acknowledge all my choices instead of trying to push myself into one direction. A space where I am accepting of my choices and go from there, I am human and will continue to make poor choices- there is no way around that. Lastly, I'd like to make more decisions based in reality, not what I think happened or what I think will happen.
I hope you'll do the same! My hope is that you are able to examine your choices and articulate why you make those decisions. I'm not saying drive yourself crazy, but your thoughts dictate your behavior and as long as YOU don't know why you can't begin to change it. Think on it...
Enjoy the rest of your night! Talk soon! #StupidSmart #DecisionsDecisionsDecisions